This week I received a call from a good friend’s girlfriend, because she found a bill to me in his purse. She asked me something about it. I told her he borrowed money from me and just returned it to me. She then asked me what the use of the money is. I frankly told her I knew nothing about it. She accused me of lending money to him without knowing the use. I said I didn’t think I needed to ask such questions, since I knew him for a long time and trusted him. She continued to ask more about it. I said: “Why you ask me such question?” She said, she thinks she has right to know about it. I said with a peaceful tone “I don’t think you have right to know about it. If he agrees me to tell you, I will tell you. If not, I won’t tell you. Because he is my friend, while I don't know you at all. I should respect him first.” The words enraged her and she lost her temper and shouted me discourteously on the phone.
In my personal opinion, everyone is independent, belonging to nobody except himself. The parents gave us our life, but cannot go through our life instead of us. The bosom friends can touch our hearts and feeling but cannot taste the happiness and bitterness in our life. Therefore, I always attach selfhood most. My life, my feeling and I just belong to myself only. In my inner belief, for me, I should be responsible for myself; and for the others, I should respect him, including his feeling, his choice and his life. I hate everyone who thinks he has right to know everything about other people, to interfere other’s choices and to invade others’ personal spaces.
However, a lot of persons are always against the rule. During our childhood, a lot of parents request their children what to do and what not to do, even impose their will on the children. Generally the parents choose the school, the major and even the way of the future for the children. Since we are little child, we are told to do whatever adults tell us to do. Increasingly we lose the ability of listening to our inner heart and just do whatever others tell us to do. That’s why we lose the ability of innovation, which is the largest power and motivation for our civilization. For individual it causes our spirit world becoming vacuous and boring, since we don’t know what we want and what we are interested in and what we can do. We don’t know where our heart is.
As a famous writer Gaoersiji said, even a hen can love his own children, but most of all, how to love. Everyone can love other people; however, the way to show love is the most important. If a love cannot make each other feel safe, comfortable and inspiring, it is an unhealthy love which should die and cannot survive. We love just we want warmness and comfort.
A true love is an unconditional love in which pay without thought of gain; a sincere love is a selfless love in which thinking about others rather than himself; a healthy love is a comfortable love which contain concern rather than interposition, communication rather than inquest, respect rather than interference, help rather than substitute, toleration rather than nit-pick.
When I was 17 years old, I took a trip to Yunnan with my parents. It is in the southern part of China. It is really a very beautiful place grand mountains, clean rivers and kind people. Trees and flowers are seen everywhere. Every year there are lots and lots of visitors. Maybe you have heard about Shi Lin (stone forests). There are all kinds of strange stones. Some of the small stones look like graceful girls; and the big stones look like handsome men. Other stones look like cats, peafowls, double-edged swords, mice, elephants and so on. Of all the stones, the stone like a beautiful girl in a legend is the most famous .Its name is A Shima. I also went to Li Jiang. The roads in that city are just like the Eight Diagrams. Any road in the city goes to the center of Li Jiang. A river runs through the whole city. If you go along the river, you'll never get lost. There are many ethnic minority people in Yunnan. They are very cordial. And they all like singing and dancing. We danced with them around the campfire that night. I really had a good time.
